Jedi Corps

This was it. My last chance at becoming a Padawan learner, gone. The rank of Initiate would forever mark me, practically still a youngling in the eyes of other Jedi.
The last Master who may have considered me for Padawanhood had chosen someone else. I didn't feel a connection in the Force to him, but I was desperate to start something.
"Let the path of the Force guide you," the Masters of old had written down. Easy for them to say when they had gone through with being Padawans and onward up the ranks.
I knew I couldn't cry, that I had to hold it together until I was alone, somewhere. I made it to a relatively abandoned hallway, somewhere where I liked to talk with my friends. I kept quiet, but it was hard to hide the ugly sobs that wracked my body. Everything I had worked toward since I could remember was wasted away. I didn't hear the footsteps as they echoed off the stone; being sorry for myself did that to me.
"Why are you crying, little one?" a deep voice asks. I reluctantly look up to see Master Plo Koon bending down to my level. I appreciated his concern, but at that moment, a Council member seemed the last person I needed comforting me.
"It's nothing Master," I hiccuped "really."
"It doesn't take a Force user to sense that lie. Tell me your troubles. Would somewhere more private suit you better?"
I shakily nod and wipe my eyes on my tunic sleeve. He offers me a hand to stand up, but I decline his help and push off the ground. I walk next to him, and notice that he's taking the path less trodden. Eventually, he stops at what appear to be his quarters, which were furnished sparsely. Master Koon gestures to a chair and eases himself into another. I sit down.
"Now tell me, what is the trouble, young one?"
I took a shuddering breath in and out. "I...wasn't accepted as a Padawan learner. I'm joining the Corps soon."
He studied my face and his body language have nothing away. "I see. You do not necessarily have to be--"
"I know, Master." I interrupted "I don’t have to be a Jedi Master to be of use in the Order. I’ve heard it many times and seen it written down in many places, but it just doesn’t seem like that, you know? You always hear about Masters Skywalker and Kenobi, yourself, Master Windu, and all the others Jedi out there fighting in the war. You don’t hear about Jedi who watch dust collect in the Archives, or the Jedi out there helping the food grow or even the Jedi out there exploring new star systems.”
Master Koon nodded “Well, you may not hear about the other Jedi, but they are just as important to the war effort. After our flashy Jedi finished on Ryloth, our Agricultural Corps help the citizens reestablish their crops, making sure that they can stand on their own. The Educational Corps collect information without which the Order would not be able to solve the Galaxy’s problems. The Exploration Corps help find new systems which may need our help. Many Jedi make it to Masterhood and are rarely heard about on the holos and through the Temple.”
I look down and feel the embarrassment in the pit of my stomach. I know that I shouldn’t want the fame and thrill when my Force-chosen destiny is to help the Republic and the Order, but as of now, I do not like my Force-chosen destiny. As I stew, steadily boiling anger matches the embarrassment and finally overwhelms it.
I decide to not say anything because I know I won't win this battle. "I understand, Master."
My understanding did not equate to my forgiveness. I wanted to train in the art of using my lightsaber, I wanted to try my hand at negotiations, and as scared as I was, I wanted to defend the Republic from outside threats.
Master Koon paused for a long while, studying my face. "Come to me if I can help you in any other way." he said gently, and stood up.
I followed him, and bowed out of respect; I had a visit to pay to the reassignment council, whether I wanted to or not.